there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
