sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
