what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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