I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
