Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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