But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
