this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
