Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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