We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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