Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
