Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
