I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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