So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
