Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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