I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
