I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
