Say something about gay babies.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize