Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
