Can i not drive my cunt home
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
