you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
