:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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