I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Everclear isn't food dammit
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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