i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
