Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
