if you like me you must not know who I am
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
