Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
