Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
