I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
