There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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