Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
