We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize