im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i love accidental penises.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Mom said you looked used
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
