Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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