You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
