I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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