After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
where does the pee come out of this thing
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
