I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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