I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
