Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
