Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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