We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
