I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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