She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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