we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize