Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
