You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
