I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
only you would photoshop your dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
