And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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