Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
