John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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