I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
