Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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