You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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