we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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