And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
