So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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