I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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