Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
