wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
