i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
