I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
